You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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