pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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