beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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