i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize