Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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