i think my mom watched the whole time
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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