Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
