people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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