I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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