Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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