Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize