"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
