ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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