I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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