Swine flu. Run for my life!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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