why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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