in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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