I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
