Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
