PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i permit you to call me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
