the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
