so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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