so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
