I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
