I just pynch a tree in the face
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
