At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
