he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
