She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
