my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
