just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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