The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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