...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
