ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
