Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
