well you can't waste a boner
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
