he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
