You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
