Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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