It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
