Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
