I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
