Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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