that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
