none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
