Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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