so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
