i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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