nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
