do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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