What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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