Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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