Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
