K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
