that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
