But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
