I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
