you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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