You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
