You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
