Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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