Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
