My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
