She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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