I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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