I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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