I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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